what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
