not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
