I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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