I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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