Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
