So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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