HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
