Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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