It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
