Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
