i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
