Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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