that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
