Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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