After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
