I CAN MOONWALK!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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