its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
