Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
