My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
