And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Shame - the story of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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