I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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