Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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