so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
