you mean i was at the winter classic?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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