dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
