I heard we made out
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
