Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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