Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
