Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
