BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
