You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
