Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
okay pat passed out under dana's car
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize