Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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