I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
