I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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