Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I AM VODKA MAN
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
