i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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