i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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