I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
