You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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