I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
