Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize