Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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