Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize