He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
