Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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