If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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