Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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