Please, let me fuck your mom
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
