Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
