bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
