Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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