I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
