yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
