dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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