Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
