The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
